So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
