i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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