It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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