he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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