it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
