New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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