Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize