My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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