dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I supernannyed him into submission
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
