I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
