dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
