we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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