just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
