If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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