what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
