Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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