We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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