We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
