please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
