He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
