I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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