i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
