There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
