i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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