im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
