You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
