Your tits are I can't wait for
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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