ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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