just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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