and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
