does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
