why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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