I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
