i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize