im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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