She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
