she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize