How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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