you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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