yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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