He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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