Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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