10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
