I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
