She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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