Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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