The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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