Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
