dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I will be naked everywhere
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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