why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
