The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
