hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Houston, we have a blender
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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