he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
