ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize