K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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