ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
