you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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