Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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