My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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