meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
