i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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