oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
