I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
