the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
