I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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